My year from hell September 5, 2008

Please tell me every teacher has good years and bad years because I am having the worst year so far and I am trying to convince myself it is not me!!! With that sad, I have not been getting home until at least 6:30 every night since we started school. I am continuing to keep running as a pleasure and release not an obligation (though it is) but I just cant have the mentality it is something on my to do list, because that is too long as is everyday. Running is becoming my release. I ran 5 last night, in the night and it was awesome. I got so much out and came to work the next morning refreshed.

I cant write much tonight…it is nearly 9 and I am just now laying down on the sofa to relax with Nick. Oh yeah, I am going back to school in the spring (or next fall)…I am just getting so fed up with the way public schools work. I will go into that later I have so much to write about but I am just way too exahusted tonight…it will have to wait until tomorrow.

4 miles – Silvia September 3, 2008

By the time I got home from school around 6:30 pm, it was still 85 degrees outside and humid. There was no way I was running in this weather.  So off to the gym I go.  I felt guilty today as I saw a woman running carrying a water bottle.  That’s what I should be doing, not going to the gym.  Think of the carbon footprint I am leaving.  I am driving to the gym, to run in an air conditioned  and artificially lit facility  on an electric treadmill.  Seems kind of stupid, doesn’t it?  Unfortunately, that’s as far as my thoughts went.  I didn’t feel guilty enough to turn the car around to run outside.

So, I get to the gym and weigh myself.  154.  I lost 6 pounds.  ONLY 6 pounds.  For the past ten days I have had no processed foods, no sugar, no alcohol, no caffeinated coffee ;and, in my few cups of decaf, I used unsweetened soy milk.  I ran 48 miles.  I didn’t even have dessert, Tiramisu (mmmmmm), at my husband’s boss dinner party.  Actually, all I ate at the lovely catered affair was salad!  After all that, only 6 pounds.  I felt like a biggest loser contestant who knew they were about to be voted off.  Dejected, I walked into the gym to do my run.

I passed this guy on a treadmill, who I could tell was going fast with his long strides.  I looked and he had a speed of 8.1!!!  He already did 4 miles and was going strong.  8.1!  I don’t even know how fast that was.  I put my mill on, and set it at 6.5.  I could see Mr. Runnerman gliding a few treadmills to my left.  Make me sick.  Anyway, I run and think how boring this was.  I brought my Ipod, but the connection to the headphone doesn’t work, so I had to take that whole contraption off my head.  I was so bored.  I wish I was outside.  The TVs are not in a good place, but I couldn’t hear them anyway.  I just kept looking at the seconds tick by and the miles slowly pile on. So boring.  I hate running.

Finally, at 3.8 with only the magical .2 to go I decided to risk it all and set the treadmill for 8.0!  I bolted. I was running my little heart out trying to keep pace, willing myself to keep going.  Only a little more,  You can do it. Come on. Finally I saw 4.00 come on the screen,  and mercifully,  the treadmill slowed down to the Cool Down phase.  8.0 was a 7:30 mile per minute pace.  Unbelievably fast.  How do people run so fast over such a long distance?  Then I remembered the marathon runners who ran at about a 5:04 or so pace.  That’s just insane.  I was in awe of the elite runners.

For Women Only… 14 miles -Silvia September 2, 2008

Yup, I did it.  I ran 14 miles.  More than half the total distance of 26.2.

I started earlyish.  Around 9am.  Just me and my dog and my Garmin 405 (I don’t leave home without it).  I left the Ipod at home.  I didn’t feel like having it around my head, getting all sweaty and getting caught in the wires, and having the wires get yanked out the bottom and then it stops and I have to plug it back in.  I couldn’t be bothered today.  I was focused on finishing.  I had a goal of doing it in 10 minute miles.  BUT, I really didn’t care.

I didn’t have a running belt with water bottles (the next thing on my wish list – hey!  I thought all you needed was a pair of sneakers and shorts, nope, this running thing is getting mighty expensive)  so I planned my route around the known fountains. At mile 4, I ran right into the “Nike Race for Human Race.”  There were even little cups of water at a stand.  I was tempted to take a cup.  I mean I was racing, I love humans.  But,   I didn’t.   I went to the water fountain instead, took a gulp, gave water to my dog and moved on.

There was a male runner ahead of me at about mile 5 and we were waiting at the light.  (I love lights because you HAVE to stop and wait for traffic….yay!)  We started out when the light turned green and he was ahead of me-of course.  That’s not unusual.  What was unusual was that he kept looking back.  He looked as if to see whether I was catching up.  Ya OK.  Do I look like I am competing guy?  For about a minute I matched his steps with mine, and I noticed that when I did that I got even further behind him.  His stride was longer and I actually had to take more steps to keep up with him.  So in reality I am actually a better runner.  Ha, well I let myself think that anyway.  Soon, he was just a speck in the distance.

At around mile 10 I encountered a problem. Before that, I stopped 2 more times, once to get water and once to let my dog poop.  I don’t count the times I wait blissfully at the lights – those are just bonus stops.  All of a sudden, I had an incredible, I mean incredible urge to use the bathroom.  I thought I was going to pee my pants.  Seriously.  I knew where there was another restroom and I hoped to hold until there.  All of a sudden, I guess I wasn’t really paying attention and lost my bearings, and I ended up at the Nature Center, which was closed.  Now, where was I going to go?   I eventually had to run this way but I was going to wait until I was relieved.  So, I am stuck in no mans land and I had no choice but to run  to the park with the restrooms.  I felt like a ball was pressing down on my bladder.  I didn’t want to walk because of my time.  (Don’t ask me why I cared, I don’t know why.)  So, every step was agony, running, holding, running, holding, running, holding.  If you have ever done that, you know that how obsessed your mind becomes about just wanting to let it all go, and release that pent up fluid and be freeeeeeeee.  I was so tempted.  I wish I was a guy who could just whip it out behind a tree and be done with it.  I do not like crouching in the woods, especially since they are public.  And with my luck I would end up with poison ivy or something equally as undesirable. I finally reach my destination.

I didn’t even tie my dog up. No time.  I took him right in there with me.   I WAS DESPERATE!!!  I sat down.  Three drops came out.  NO KIDDING.  What the @%#&?  All that agony for three drops.  I wash up and the pressure was still there.

I had 2 miles left.  I tookmy dog to his favorite swimming hole and let him swim for a couple of minutes.  I had 1 mile left.  (As you can see I take a lot of breaks- my goal is to finish a  marathon, I didn’t say I wasn’t going to stop in between).  As I ran home, I was now thinking that I might  have cancer or something.  The pressure on my bladder was still intense   I was so thirsty ( I need a running belt).  My mind had no distractions but to focus on the fact that I had to go pee but I didn’t have to go pee.  I played tricks with myself and just said let it go.  But nothing happened.  Now I was convinced something’s wrong with me.  Running  jarred something loose in my body and now I was dying. Great.  I wouldn’t  even be able to finish this damn marathon before I croaked. Finally, the 14 miles showed up on my Garmin, and I thankfully stop the timer and walk the rest of the 3/4 of a mile home.

I got home.  I ran to the privacy of my commode. Perhaps it was just the anxiety of being in a public restroom.  You know what I am talking about don’t you?  It’s just not as comfortable.   everything just work sbetter in your own bathroom. And finally, in the comfort of home, I find the cause of my pain.  Let’s just say my next move was to the medicine cabinet for some Midol.

Where has the last month gone?-Kirsten September 1, 2008

Yes, indeed it is me, finally. The truth is I am reading the blog, and realizing more with each day I need to get back into writing to hold myself accountable. I could not agree more, WHY ARE WE RUNNING A MARATHON? A half, that seems within my reach now, after doing my first 10 miles a few days ago, but add 16 to that, yeah thats a bit much!

Let me back up first. When we started this training program I have a summer free attitude; I could run when I wanted, sleep when I wanted, eat when I wanted, everything was not based around the hours on the clock. Well, 3 weeks ago I began teaching which is when my training became the hardest it ever has. I wake up at 5:45 to get to school, and there is no way I would run in the mornings. Then because of the wild class I have this year, I have been staying at work until close to 6 every night. Getting home at 6 after working with 23 5 year olds leads you to one goal; the couch and a drink. But add on a 5 mile run first!! Well it took me two weeks to get back into my routine, and now I am into my teaching groove and back into my running. I stopped blogging because I felt so behind…

But I am up to 10. I am not following the schedule exactly which maybe I should. One day I felt like running 6 when I only had to do 5, and then next day I only ran 3 when I have 4 to run. Doesnt that cancel eachother out, or is that a bad idea when training? I talked with a friend of mine who told me, it is ok to stop and walk. It doesnt mean you failed at your run, most people training use interval training techniques. So, the big numbers shall be conquered…one foot at time, with a few stops to walk when needed. I feel good mentally and physically which is the pay off for all of this. When I had my weeks of not running like I should have been, mentally I was all over the place. I had no place to release my stress and I felt horrible for not running. I actually dont mind the running…depending on the heat that is. If there are hills and heat I would rather curl up and die and every sprinkler I see on, I run into. I look like an idiot but hey it might have been what kept me from falling over and having a heart attack at age 24. I did my run on Saturday…8 miles. (I TOLD YOU I AM ALL OVER THE PLACE WITH THE SCHEDULE!!!) and the heat was 88, the incline was hell, and it hurt each step…so today I am waiting for the evening time. It is already too hot!!!

So about this half marathon in October….yes? no?